Thank you to the outpouring of love, prayers, good vibes, encouraging words, and heartfelt stories today. I honestly wanted to blog what I’m going through to record my own thoughts and experiences for myself, but people have been blowing up my phone and FB. Just in the last 6 hours, I’ve had 546 readers on this blog post. Crazy!
I do need to ask that while you pray for me, please pray for my dad too. He’s been leading the charge on all of this for me after finding out that he may have prostate cancer 2 weeks ago.
One of my friends asked me how I’m doing with my walk with God given this unexpected news. I told her that this is my chance to glorify Him and show people my trust in Him as it’s just a bump in the road. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to go to heaven, now or later so why stress about it?
Yesterday’s fight to get a proper doctor to see me was ridiculous. For everyone who’s never had to be their own health advocate with healthcare providers before should know that they’re just trying to follow the path of least resistance when sometimes it might not be the right plan for you.
I got about 2 hours of sleep the night before because I spent most of it just contemplating my own mortality and watching youtube. Went to work at 8 because why not, stuff’s got to get done. My boss Jason has been so incredibly generous beyond what I could ask for. He told me to wrap up my projects and give them all to him, go home, watch tv, and focus on getting better. If I need any PTO, he’s got 3 weeks worth of time that he’s willing to share with me. My co workers have all pitched in and spent extra hours so far picking up where I left off so I can chill and rest.
I got home around 11am and my dad met at my place to start putting a game plan together. He found a doctor within the Healthpartners network. Dr. Keith Harmon is a specialist in lung cancer, chief of medicine at the U of M, and performs CT guided needle biopsy which is what I need.
The ER scheduled a biopsy consult with the doctor I saw 4 weeks ago, Dr. Bali (name change), who is just a general physician. This is not what I want because he won’t be performing any of the tests himself or interpreting the results. I called Dr. Harmon’s office since his profile said he was taking new patients (Link). His nurse said he’s booked until August unless I can get an “urgent referral”. I had to call Dr. Bali back to get a referral, which he reluctantly gave. Then I called Dr. Harmon’s office back, they said he’s busy until maybe July and offered to schedule me with a doctor on Friday that specializes in sleep apnea which is part of the lungs. I said tell me EXACTLY when I can see Dr. Harmon. They said Wednesday(literally the next day) at 8:30am. OMG this whole thing took THREE hours to coordinate.
I got to the office this morning and had to do some tests before I saw Dr. Harmon. The lab tech was awesome during the tests which I sucked at. She sat me down in a chamber and put a tube thingie in my mouth and plugged my nose.
For the first test, I needed to breathe regularly and then inhale quickly then exhale as long as possible. The second test required the chamber door to be closed. I felt like Luke Skywalker at the beginning of Empire Strikes Back when he gets rescued by Han and has to be put in the Bacta Tank. With the door closed I needed to pant into the machine which sealed itself up and felt like breathing into a blocked tube. During these tests I coughed and wheezed a lot.
After these repeated tests, the technician had me use a hardcore inhaler to see if it made a difference in my lung capacity. It made me sound like Darth Vader (look more Star Wars references). After breathing it in for a minute, she had me repeat all the same tests again.
After I finished the tests, the lab tech assured me that I’m in the best of care. If it is cancer, I’m in for a really crappy year but I’ve got youth on my side. After today, things are going to move very quickly so be ready. I met Dr. Harmon afterwards and he took things very seriously but asked his questions with confidence and purpose. It made me feel better right away after only just meeting him.
He examined me and said because there’s nothing in my nuts/balls/bollocks (you get it) it means that the tumor didn’t originate from there and started in my chest cavity behind my sternum. Therefore it likely hasn’t metastasized anywhere. People my age get these types of tumors and it’s very likely it’s not cancerous but we won’t know without a biopsy. He showed me my CT scan from the previous night and said that the tumor is very large. He reviewed my breath tests explaining that my lung capacity is at 60%. People my age can take in 4 liters of air, I’m at 2.8L. My tumor is pressing up on my lung, blocking half of it and pushing on my heart which is reducing blood flow.
The black spaces are my lungs, it’s crazy how big this thing is. Imagine holding a box of tea bags. I told the doctor that I can’t believe it’s been all this time and I haven’t felt a thing. He said he’s not surprised as we have very little pain receptors in that area. Because the tumor is only pushing on things, it wouldn’t cause any pain and only coughing due to it blocking my bronchial tubes and lungs. He did a full body check and found a lump on my back. I’m just a fun mystery box today. He said he’s not going to worry about that right now as it could just be a fatty tumor.
He immediately scheduled my biopsy for tomorrow morning at 7am. Unfortunately, I was going to drive my dad to the Mayo Clinic for his prostate cancer tests but I won’t be able to do that. Since it’s so hard to get an appointment there, he wasn’t able to reschedule and I wasn’t able to move my biopsy.
The plan for tomorrow is that they’ll drug me, numb my right pec muscle, and stick a needle into my chest to take 5-7 samples of the tumor. They’ll be able to count the rings of the tumor to find out how long it’s been growing inside of me. Just kidding, I’m not a tree.
There is about a 20% chance that they’ll puncture my lung or I’ll have internal bleeding with this procedure but they’ll keep an eye on me to make sure. Test results should be ready by Monday at the latest and they’ll be able to schedule the next steps.
I think I’ve said this to a few people but all of this feels so surreal. I don’t feel “sick” in the traditional sense besides coughing every once in a while. I’ve lost about 9 lbs in the last few weeks but I thought it was because I haven’t been back to the gym and therefore lost my gainz.
I’m honestly more concerned as to why I can’t get my Instagram feed working on the footer of this site than my procedure tomorrow.
I’ve got another long day tomorrow and a few days of boring recovery so I’ll keep you all updated on what’s next after I get the results.
