You know that scene in Finding Nemo when Nemo’s friends want to touch the butt (boat)? Then Nemo’s dad swims in and yells at him saying “You think you can do these things but you just can’t Nemo!”

I can relate to Nemo right now. I almost feel like my normal self and my blood tests show that my white blood cell count isn’t anywhere near danger levels but my parents don’t want to let me take any chances and allow me out of the house for anything besides going to doctors appointments.

For example, Pagoda in Dinkytown has a deal going on where you can get 4 dishes for $30. Dad and I got into the car yesterday to do take out. I called them while we were on our way there to put in our order and they said that they only do dine in only for that deal. Dad “didn’t want to take any chances” so we went somewhere else to get dinner.

It’s just more frustrating knowing that this is probably the best I’m going to feel considering I skipped my 3rd week of chemo, I’m currently 2 full weeks chemo free, and we start up again on Monday.

I really want to just get some dinner with Joanna, maybe some bubble tea or ice cream after, and wander the mall or go to Stone Arch since it’s so nice outside.

I don’t want to force the issue or argue with my parents since they’re the ones taking care of me and if I end up getting a fever or getting sick, I’d be the one that looks selfish. I just have to accept this as a stupid lesson in being patient and not focus or complain about the things that I can’t do.

I guess just like Nemo, I have an extremely caring dad that will travel the ocean to help his son.

Even though it’s been 2 weeks since my last shot of chemo meds, my body’s still dealing with the effects. While Becky came over last week and shaved my head, I’m still losing the bits of hair still stuck to my head. I can swipe my hand over my head once and hair continues to come off. Just in a more manageable way.

I received the hat that I ordered about a week ago from Coal. I really like it as I can wear it for at least 2 hours before it starts feeling warm. It definitely makes me feel a little bit more “normal” and less like a cancer patient. I do like that I’ve changed my look the last few weeks since I got diagnosed. It draws a line between the normal life that I’m used to and this new cancer life.

While wearing this beanie I should probably be in some coffee shop no one’s heard of, drinking free trade coffee, and typing this blog up on a typewriter.

Sidenote. The last time I shaved  my face was last Friday when I got rid of my awful facial hair. Since then, I’ve had nothing grow which is really weird.

I’m still losing weight, the other day I came in at 128.8lbs when I was 133lbs just a week and a half earlier. Dad asked me what I wanted to eat and I asked for a tuna melt hoagie from Davannis. The website clocked it at 900 calories so I think I may have made the right choice.

My brother Jonathan is currently learning how to drive as he has his learner’s permit. I’m taking full advantage of his need to practice by making him take me to get junk food too.

Since I can’t go anywhere and I’m slowly losing weight, I started making a list of all the places I’d get super fatty food from that I can’t go to right now. You’re all probably going to hate me for mentioning any of these right now.

Raspberry chocolate diva cake – Buttercream Bakery
Fried chicken – Popeyes
Ribs – Bakers Ribs
Blueberry pancakes and biscuits and gravy – Cracker Barrel
Nachos bellgrande – Taco Bell
Prime rib and creamed spinach – Wildfire
Hot dogs – Portillos
Burger – My Burger
Salt baked chicken – Mandarin Kitchen
Poutine – Canada
Rum raisin and cherry jubilee ice cream – Izzys Ice cream

While this list is just going to keep growing as I lay around thinking of more wonderful things I can’t eat. They all have something in common which is what Cantonese people call Yeet Hay (熱氣).

Over the last few weeks, I’ve gotten health food articles from people wanting to help me with my dietary needs. While these articles have been helpful, I do have to keep in mind the Chinese cultural medicine stuff too.

“Yeet hay” literally translates to hot air in English. I had a hard time coming up with an explanation so I did some Googling and found this blog post about it: Link

Chinese medicine believes in “Qi” energy. You’ve heard of “Qi” right? “Qi” (like the Force) flows through the living human body. This is tied to the concept of Yin and Yang (you know, that cool black and white circle symbol). When the body is “in balance”, we are healthy. When it is “out of balance”, we get ill.

Tied to the concept of yin and yang, is the concept of “hot” and “cold” – “hot” – yang energy, “cold” – yin energy. In this context, “hot” and “cold” is not talking about temperature, it’s about the type of energy. Chinese belief divides all food into “hot” or “cold”. When there is too much “hot” energy in your body, your body is “out of balance” and you have “yeet hay” – which makes you ill. Crispy or fried foods, beef, chilies and peppers are considered “hot” foods, while soy beans, lettuce and oranges are considered “cool” foods. According to Chinese beliefs, an imbalance of “hot” and “cold” in the body is thought to cause sickness.

Symptoms of yeet hay include: lack of energy, tendency to get infections, headaches, conjunctivitis, inflammation of the corneas and eyelids, mouth ulcers. cracks at the corners of the lips, recurring infections of throat and tonsils.

In order to cool down my body, my mom told me to drink chrysanthemum flower tea, Joanna’s mom recommended that I drink carrot juice, and my friend Xu recommended eating the white part of the watermelon rind. There’s a lot of unwritten rules to what’s hot or cooling. As an Asian American, I kind of just roll my eyes and go along with it because I don’t want to be told “I told you so” later on by my mom.